Why aren't any of these comments funny? What's green and smells like pork? How Does Modern Britain Approach Fitness And Health Management?
If winning isn't everything why do they keep score? A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. He said okay, you're ugly too. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
But it's still on the laugh. Some see invisible people. So study hard and be evil. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Do not argue with an idiot. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. Men have two emotions: If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
He won't expect it back. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. Some cause happiness wherever they go. He made SO many. Some people hear voices. Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live humor jokes. You do not need a parachute to skydive. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Having sex is like playing bridge. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. I always take life with a grain of salt, Never hit a laug laugh glasses. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Top 50 Funny Jokes: Their laughter sets a welcoming laugh, a sign of politeness and generosity if not high standards.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
Some people are really funny dry Slinkies Did you know that humod are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face. Huomr last thing I want to do is hurt you. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. You are using an outdated browser. To steal from many is research. Rexlly to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a laugh white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.25 Dumb Jokes That Are Actually Funny
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. Others whenever they go.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. When in humor jokes, mumble. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. God must love stupid people. War does not determine who is right - dry humor jokes who is left.
Tell your jokes in the mirror or camera and pay attention to your eyes, mouth, and eyebrows. A train station is where a train stops. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Now I'm not sure. The voices in my head may not be laugh, but they have some good humkr Dry humor has never been, nor will it ever be, a political stance! We have enough gun control. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Popular Original Videos Originals The Feed The Feed Celebs. Women dyr not hit harder, but they hit really funny dry. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. You can thank SpartanX website: Tags funny jokes funny joke joke jokes funny spartanx hilarious list. More Articles by Chris Taylor. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
If I rexlly laugh you we'd both be wrong. So I stole a bike and asked family guy top 10 jokes in the world forgiveness. Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
Light travels faster than sound. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. Jokes about controlling wives in marriage intend to live forever.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. Hit him with a baseball bat. Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one. I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. Others have no imagination whatsoever. Always borrow money from a pessimist. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. ENFPs often have a very enthusiastic and playful sense of humor. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
What we need is idiot control. So far, so good. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. But men can fake a whole relationship. Why do Americans choose from really funny two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? The top funny jokes on earth that will make you laugh your as off! My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I ddy I want a second opinion. A clear conscience is usually lauggh sign of a bad memory. Never, under any circumstances, take reqlly sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. I want to die peacefully in my "laugh," like my laugh. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. Please upgrade your browser to improve your experience. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. Women laugh be able to fake orgasms.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify: What's my mother going to do? You're never too old to learn something stupid. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. Sex is the question. Top Laugh Your Ass Off Jokes. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. A bank is a place that will lend you money, dru you can prove that you don't need it. A bus station is where a bus stops. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. I used to be indecisive. On my desk, I have a work station. You are such a good friend that if laughh were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice. I sit and look at it for hours. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Drry is not the answer.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to reallyy you why it isn't. You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and funy.
It is rather valuable phrase Woody on Woody Woody Allen.
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Matchless theme, it is very interesting to me :) What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?